Late Nights

Sitting in the darkness
Counting down the time
Waiting for the minutes
to move on down the line

I am a shadow
A trick of the light
Imposing itself on
Anything in its path

The cold is stifling
Burning hot
As I try not to think
Of everything I'm not.

I'm not real.
I am a figment of my own imagination
I exist only to fool myself.
And in fooling myself, I give myself life.

I mourn for the loss of her
The one I am better without.
I curse her name in the light
But in the dark...

In this suffocating, simple, silent, scenario
I languish in the stinging sorrow
sweetly sung in staccato tones by sirens
who seek nothing but the sure demise of poor hapless saps such as myself.

I can do nothing to stymie the deluge
ushered forth from the bloody, beaten pulp
That used to be the vessel that foolishly contained
my hopes for love and happiness.

So I sit in self-induced existence
crying for a love I never had, so could never miss,
with experience making me cynical
towards the possibility of ever finding comfort,

I sit and wait for the opportunity
To prove myself wrong
and find a happiness so great
I will transcend the sorrows that chain me here and cease to exist.

New Year...

Hopefully with new outcomes as well. I really can't believe that this is my last semester....sort of. Oh well, here's to another year!

Deep Breaths

Hey, baby.
Please don’t look so sad
Don’t you know,
These bad times will never last?

Honey, I know that,
That the world has got you down.
And when you cry on the inside,
Your tears don’t make a sound.

So darling, just let me in,
And let your light shine on.
I will be your harbor, baby,
Your smile is my morning sun.

Tell me, can’t you see
Just how beautiful you are?
Look into the mirror
And try to see what I see.

So take a deep breath
And slowly let it go.
Let it take away your worries
When it goes.

Honey, I know that,
That the world has got you down.
And when you cry on the inside,
Your tears don’t make a sound.

And darling, let me in,
And let your light shine on.
I will be your harbor, baby,
Your smile is my morning sun.

If you let me in,
So the hurt can stop
Just take a deep breath
I’ll wipe away the tears

So...

Lately, I've been feeling like I've been in a funk. I have no idea why, but I hope it ends soon because it's really annoying. So feel free to give me a random hug....or two. I'm not averse to hugs.

New!

Textual Relations
Hi there. How you doing?
Tell me what you’re thinking.
I think this will be just great.

Hey, babe, how’s your day?
You know if I had my way,
I’d be with you right now.

So here we are,
Having textual relations
By the moonlight.
And the world is alright with me.

I miss you something fierce.
And I know you must be tired, ‘cause
You’ve been running all day through my mind.

I’m just nervous to begin this
Because no one’s ever really
Treated me this good.

Yet here we are,
Having textual relations
By the moonlight.
And the world is alright with me.

New songs

Sweet Dreams
Late nights
All alone
Waiting for you
To pick up your phone.

Waiting to hear
That voice so sweet
You sound so near
So close to me

But you’re a world away
And I can’t seem to get through to you.

So close your eyes
And go to sleep
And if you dream
I know it won’t be of me.

So I won’t dream of you
I won’t think about you tonight.
I’ll light up a cigarette
And push you from my mind.

Because you’re a world away
And I’ll never get through to you.
So dream sweet dreams tonight
I’ll be gone before it’s light.

Letting Go
How many times do we have to say goodbye
Before I know that it’s for good?
How many times do we have to say hello
Until I know what I should do?

Tell me baby, now what will you do
Now that I’m really gone for good?
Tell me, honey, now what do you do
When you’ve got a hoop but no one to jump through?

I tried to hold on to
What was left of you
But no one in this world can be that strong.

I trusted you
Even needed you
Although I knew that it was wrong.

How many times do we have to say goodbye
Before I know that it’s for good?
How many times do we have to say hello
Until I do what I should

And forget you.

I’m letting go.
I’m letting go
I’m letting go of you

I’m letting go
I’m letting go
But it’s so hard to do.

I’m letting go
Because I know
It’s what I need to do.

Motherf***er

What makes a person unforgettable? Is it their looks? Their personality? The combination of the two? Perhaps it may not be them at all. Rather, it might be the person that can't forget them. Looks fade. Personalities change. The combination of the two can have a seemingly endless list of possible results, but there are only so many of those. It must be the other person then. Something inside the other person won't let them forget about the other person. Either way, it doesn't matter for me. I am apparently a pretty forgettable person. I mean, people remember me, but what I may have meant to them is pretty forgettable, even if it may seem like at the time that I was the most important person in the world to them. I lose my shine and they move on to bigger and better things. And I am left like an old toy plane; discarded and forgotten. It's tough to be the flavor of the week, but one day I know that someone will find me, pick me up, dust me off, fix my broken wing, and truly appreciate me for the rare item that I am. Until then, I'll wait here in the dark, dusty attic, just keeping on like I always do. Coping and managing. Hoping to catch the discerning eye of someone new.